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[personal profile] toxicologist
Has anyone ever liked a book, only to read it later and find out, "How did I like this? Why did I like this?" You can either tell me about such examples, or read my response to the question.

A couple of years ago, I read this series called The Mortal Instruments by Cassandra Clare. It's about a young teenager named Clary who finds out there's a world beyond her own, a magical world, so to speak. But since both worlds are plagued with demons, warriors called Shadowhunters have to police both worlds and destroy said demons. Clary becomes a Shadowhunter because she was descended from one (Oh, gee, it's been a long time since my reread. I'm a little foggy on the details.) and falls in love with some douchebag (but he has a tragic past so it's totes okay :|) named Jace (who, if you're familiar with Cassandra Clare's fanworks, is essentially fanon!Draco Malfoy). In the first book they were revealed to be siblings, so they're like "Uh dude we'll just be ignoring our awkward boners for each other." Then it turns out they're not related in the last book, so they automatically switch back to humping each other. "OH FALSE ALARM LET'S FUCK." Of course, I ate it all up, because crack fantasy was, well, my crack.

So, a few months later, I decide to reread it. If it was good the first time, then it had to be great the second time, right?



Oh man, I asked so many questions to myself when I slogged through City of Bones: how did I get through the choppy writing, what is with all these similes, why do I hate every damn character in this book, how did Cassandra Clare even get a deal in the first place, why do I hate almost all YA books, etc, etc.

You could have the most interesting plot in the world and it can be ruined through bad writing (see: Dan Brown. Illuminati conspiracies, Leonardo da Vinci, the Church, and other things that can make a book awesome and I still found myself snoring through The Da Vinci Code. Hm, maybe I should try to reread the trilogy to see if it gets better or worse in memory. Oh, whoops, I'm going off on a tangent.). There's just something about Clare's writing that makes me want to put down the book and go watch scary videos on Youtube. It's just not engaging. One particular line that most Clare detractors like to pull out is the description of a floppy wooden beam (oh hey, potential for a penis joke): "It bent as easily as a blade of grass bending sideways." The first chapter of City of Bones is available online and from my reading it, I really don't know how this woman became famous for her fanfiction.

Clare's characters are either annoying as fuck or unsympathetic dickbags. Or both. Her golden couple Jace and Clary are my most hated characters in the series. Clary screams self-insert (she shares a name with her creator and they both have red hair. One can't help but be a little suspicious.) and can have the world revolve around her despite her being bitchy to everyone. Jace, as I said before, is a dickhead but, hey, his tragic past apparently invalidates it. At first Clary's best friend Simon doesn't seem like too bad of a guy, but then he suffers from Nice Guy Syndrome (for those who don't know, it's guys who are like I'M NICE TO THIS GIRL WHY WON'T SHE LET ME HAVE HER PUSSY GRRR I'M A NICE GUY, to them it's not as much being nice for the sake of being nice, it's being nice so they can be rewarded with a woman). There are other characters, but they really don't stand out in Clare's dull writing.

And I have the problem with the author herself. Cassandra Clare was a major player in the HP fandom more than a decade ago. I really can't explain about her entire fandom experience when the Fan History Wiki does it better. Her most infamous wank involves her famous Draco Trilogy, one of the fics that defined fanon!Draco (the snarky charming bastard that contrasts against the bratty canon counterpart of the books). The majority enjoyed it, but the more observant readers found out she pulled out various lines and parts from other books and television shows. To put it bluntly, she blatantly palgiarized works from under our noses. The fanfics were swiftly reported and were taken down on FFN. Clare simply reposted the fanfic on a website she and her friends made. She never apologized or even made comments about her plagiarism, and only deleted her fanfics because of her publishing deal. Any attempts to confront her about it were shushed.

So yeah, can't say I like her books anymore.

I also can no longer stand the Maximum Ride books due to the lack of real plot and the insufferable characters but that's probably another post. Probably.
tl;dr fuck you mortal instruments and cassie clare

June 2013

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